Freedom of speech is the greatest gift that democracy has given to the world. However, freedom of speech does not give one the right to be an arsehole. We live in the modern world and are woke and respectful people. There are still things being said to moms every day that should never cross anyone’s mind.
Here is the Wolf Mother’s objective list of things you absolutely should not say to a pregnant or new mom. And it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman, childfree or a parent of multiple children, a mother yourself, a mother of this child or a mother-in-law. Just be kind and avoid it.
1. What huge Belly! You sure there’s only one baby there?
"No, I’m not sure. Maybe touch it and check. "
2. Well my baby was always sleeping like an angel!
"Go to hell"
3. You should take some rest!
"Should I? Naaaah I’m enjoying sleepless nights and anxiety now."
4. Let them cry! Children cry, and they’re fine.
"They are, but soon you won’t be."
5. No! You can’t eat that because your milk will taste bad!
"You might have thought that all that research has made it clear how little impact on mother’s milk has what we eat, especially in small amounts. Apparently, not enough to be declined a tangerine-tea in a Vietnamese restaurant. Yes, it’s a true story!"
6. You will lose all that weight quickly when you breastfeed.
"How nice of you to voice your opinion about my body! As a mom of a newborn, my main priority now is to lose weight. Also, just to clarify - when you don’t breastfeed, the weight stays there?"
7. Pregnancy is not a sickness.
"I would like to see you throw up for 3 months and say, with the same tone and a straight face, that it’s not a sickness."
8. You must enjoy having so much free time.
"… I just even can’t comment on this one"
9. You think it’s hard now? It’s only going to get worse.
"If there is anything better than unsolicited advice, then it must be unsolicited thread. First of all, I wasn’t asking how it was going to get. Secondly, no. Last but not least, bye. "
10. You look tired.
"Oh, but I feel fabulous. Also, you look dead to me unless you tell me something nice right now. Preferably something about the new mother's glow, but it's entirely up to you."
11. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?
"Yes! I did want it, and yes, it can be very tiring and very hard to adjust to. Just like a promotion or starting a new business. Saying something like this is extremely unsupportive. Don’t be a bad friend by making such a comment! "
Trigger warning: You seem sad. Is it postpartum depression?
Let’s end this fun article on a bit more serious note. Postpartum depression is a condition suffered widely by women and men in their first years of parenthood. It's caused by many factors, and it's a severe and long-lasting sickness, which requires a lot of help and attention. It should never be mocked and never treated lightly. Parents suffering from postpartum depression are dealing with a lot, and the last thing they need is a stupid comment. I’m going to repeat-parents-because new fathers, especially those young in age, are also prone to postpartum depression and any symptoms should not be ignored. If you feel that somebody might be suffering from postpartum depression, do not ask them if they have it. Be kind, be gentle, and encourage them to seek professional help.